**0**
"PG XOYHLM XOYLY PZ GH TPUUYLYGRY EYXBYYG XOYHLM WGT JLWRXPRY. PG JLWRXPRY, XOYLY PZ." --MHIP EYLLW
"IN THEORY THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEORY AND PRACTICE. IN PRACTICE, THERE IS." --YOGI BERRA

**1**
SXIFL XZH BLQ VLESQ VEJSH SXIFLY VRBL TEI, YZEJQ XZH TEI YSQQM XSEZQ. --IZGZEVZ 
LAUGH AND THE WHOLE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU, SNORE AND YOU SLEEP ALONE. --UNKNOWN

**2**
PLO YIXOZPRNZTOT EGKBOXXKG EKJGOT XMGJE KZ LNX QGKXXFKGT EJHHCO YZT FOZP QGYHM XKCWNZS LNX FYBBCO.
THE ABSENTMINDED PROFESSOR POURED SYRUP ON HIS CROSSWORD PUZZLE AND WENT CRAZY SOLVING HIS WAFFLE.

**3**
NJ S LPBCPU ASI S HWONVI SC XSOLSHNOH, EW BPVQL XW BSQQWL "CEW ANTSUL PJ HSVTW."
IF A DOCTOR WAS A GENIUS AT BANDAGING, HE COULD BE CALLED "THE WIZARD OF GAUZE."

**4**
A EQI'X UMBJ TQBJH.  A TSHX KMXVR XRJ LQZJCIUJIX MIE CJDQCX XRJ YMVXH. --KAGG CQLJCH
I DON'T MAKE JOKES.  I JUST WATCH THE GOVERNMENT AND REPORT THE FACTS. --WILL ROGERS

**5**
SH'M BSQJ VO OLQ HV JV HYR SEFVMMSGZR. --TUZH JSMQRN
IT'S KIND OF FUN TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. --WALT DISNEY

**6**
MZE LSSD IWEKG BRWN MZEQ JSVW RL MZE KOP'W VEJFS RW.
YOU FEEL STUCK WITH YOUR DEBT IF YOU CAN'T BUDGE IT.

**7**
Y QT MDLIQYOVZ IBD TFNI IQOODJ RDLNFO BDLD IFJQZ.  QVV FIBDLN RQVD YO MFTRQLYNFO.
I AM CERTAINLY THE MOST TANNED PERSON HERE TODAY.  ALL OTHERS PALE IN COMPARISON.

**8**
VQHIGVN GZ YBQVN YGHI DOSGMQBVGO HIOH O BGZC GV HIC QDCOV SCXCS YQPSFV'H DPBC.--BQZZ WODFQVOSF 
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH CALIFORNIA THAT A RISE IN THE OCEAN LEVEL WOULDN'T CURE.--ROSS MACDONALD

**9**
XQRKU COFZ BAEGM FZ QPACOUE VGQPUC'Z OUGG.--QGMATZ OTJGUR
MAYBE THIS WORLD IS ANOTHER PLANET'S HELL.--ALDOUS HUXLEY

**10**
HE G PDHXHP LGVVQT G LCGU'K ADHZHVGC GPXADK, KARQ RHZSX KGU SQ'K KXAVQT XSQ EHDKX PGKX.
IF A CRITIC PANNED A PLAY'S ORIGINAL ACTORS, SOME MIGHT SAY HE'S STONED THE FIRST CAST.

**11**
ZKAGEFARB XBE WB ZW AGO ABFEIQ FW PFAKBEGHW FW ZKAGEFARB GS ZKAGEFARB.--WQPABQ U. YFEEZW
IGNORANCE HER SE IS NOT NEARLY AS DANGEROUS AS IGNORANCE OF IGNORANCE.--SYDNEY X. PARRIS

**12**
C VKIOO UDI TAYEF'O OILAPF-HIOU TYCUCPV CBGEIBIPU LAKEF HI LXEEIF UDI GIP KEUCBXUI.
I GUESS THE WORLD'S SECOND-BEST WRITING IMPLEMENT COULD BE CALLED THE PEN ULTIMATE.

**13**
HSEN OWSJ SUD, ZQ'T ERKVZKWZTJ; HSEN OWSJ QAS, ZQ'T WDTDKWHP.
COPY FROM ONE, IT'S PLAGIARISM; COPY FROM TWO, IT'S RESEARCH.

**14**
Z IBXA AD E NZRPA APB DAPBQ XZRPA EXG E PDVWBK RESB MQDWB DJA.--QDGXBK GEXRBQNZBFG
I WENT TO A FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT AND A HOCKEY GAVE BROKE OUT.--RODNEY DANGERFIELD

**15**
FTA ZYDFGV AFYWUH FKRG DFVYME FTZ KMKJ KEH OGCD DFG ADYVO.--ZKG MGAD
HIS MOTHER SHOULD HAVE THROWN HIM AWAY AND KEPT THE STORK.--MAE WEST

**16**
AR OAKKAKF AXK'P WGWJIPNAKF, ONI LH PNWI QWWE XDHJW? --GAKDW MHSCTJLA
IF WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING, WHY DO THEY KEEP SCORE? --VINCE LOMBARDI

**17**
YTK LFAJNKF FJYYJCR JC Z AZEZA TLVL SXJDDE, QWY TXLC YXLE DJY Z MJVL JC YXL SVZMY JY FZCA -- GVKUJCR KCSL ZCH MKV ZDD YXZY EKW SZC'Y XZUL EKWV AZEZA ZCH XLZY JY, YKK.  
TWO ESKIMOS SITTING IN A KAYAK WERE CHILLY, BUT WHEN THEY LIT A FIRE IN THE CRAFT IT SANK -- PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR KAYAK AND HEAT IT, TOO.

**18**
IVX NSQX U DIRMT QXHULUSGD IVX NSQX U BN ESGJUGEXM IVBI NBG GXJXQ YSQDVUOOXM BGTIVUGL CRI VUNDXHK.--DUQ QUEVBQM KQBGEUD CRQISG
THE MORE I STUDY RELIGIONS THE MORE I AM CONVINCED THAT MAN NEVER WORSHIPPED ANYTHING BUT HIMSELF.--SIR RICHARD FRANCIS BURTON

**19**
NK KCD WEYSDPONPJ KCDO XNTKDJ KG RDWW YD PGKKDT XGGJ, SEK L RNX PLVCK KCPGEVC LK.
AT THE LUMBERYARD THEY WANTED TO SELL ME ROTTEN WOOD, BUT I SAW RIGHT THROUGH IT.

**20**
KD NMM EW UCRSB PCK KD MNSFFV JDCF KUEBOW CX MNLCEMNW S ADRXCKNM.
TO ERR IS HUMAN BUT TO REALLY FOUL THINGS UP REQUIRES A COMPUTER.

**21**
ARM HVJWYMF CPAR ARM XMQM HJJY PG ARTA ARMVM PG QJ YPIMXZTVO. --OTBPO XMVVJYO
THE PROBLEM WITH THE GENE POOL IS THAT THERE IS NO LIFEGUARD. --DAVID GERROLD

**22**
VK T JTIXD TJTZQTG HSCG SMHJTCDL PTGVGDZ, PSMJL VH YD PTJJDL LSXJDZZ KTVIYTGQZ? 
IF A LARGE ALASKAN TOWN OUTLAWED CANINES, COULD IT BE CALLED DOGLESS FAIRBANKS?

**23**
HQDLS SEQFWL HQDLS NGS FUS FJBJLLKDQMA QF SEKS UDXJD.--XUBSUD TEU
FIRST THINGS FIRST BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER.--DOCTOR WHO

**24**
BE P YBE YBORPMJ GD LNX ELBPQ, P AXL B ABM YNC YBEM'L LNXQX. NX YBEM'L LNXQX BJBPM LCSBZ. P YPEN, P YPEN NX'S ELBZ BYBZ. --NGJNXE AXBQME
AS I WAS WALKING UP THE STAIR, I MET A MAN WHO WASN'T THERE. HE WASN'T THERE AGAIN TODAY. I WISH, I WISH HE'D STAY AWAY. --HUGHES MEARNS

**25**
F CXJ O IOWJQDXEJXQDMDIFWJ TSWJ DUJXE RFOIEDWX OFMTXEJW COWXR DE O ISJ UXXMFEI. 
I BET A GASTROENTEROLOGIST MUST OFTEN DIAGNOSE AILMENTS BASED ON A GUT FEELING.

**26**
G HODE EV LOWI FLGZNSID, UQE YT PSGIDNB BFOSI YI. VDI VP YT PSGIDNB EVZN YI BLI  HOB GD ZOUVS PVS 36 LVQSB. G NVD'E IWID HODE EV NV ODTELGDR ELOE PIIZB RVVN PVS 36 LVQSB. -- SGEO SQNDIS
I WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN, BUT MY FRIENDS SCARE ME. ONE OF MY FRIENDS TOLD ME SHE  WAS IN LABOR FOR 36 HOURS. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO DO ANYTHING THAT FEELS GOOD FOR 36 HOURS. -- RITA RUDNER

**27**
KZHPFSL KD J SKU, J IKKR FP EWKIJIOM QJG'P ILPH DWFLGS, JGS FGPFSL KD J SKU, FH'P HKK SJWR HK WLJS. --UWKZBVK QJWN.
OUTSIDE OF A DOG, A BOOK IS PROBABLY MAN'S BEST FRIEND, AND INSIDE OF A DOG, IT'S TOO DARK TO READ. --GROUCHO MARX.

**28**
HWMSWVBBJES UMTVC JX V WVZD NDUODDE XMRUOVWD DESJEDDWX XUWJAJES UM NKJQT NJSSDW VET NDUUDW JTJMU-HWMMR HWMSWVBX VET UGD KEJADWXD UWCJES UM HWMTKZD NJSSDW VET NDUUDW JTJMUX. XM RVW UGD KEJADWXD JX OJEEJES.--WJZG ZMMY
PROGRAMMING TODAY IS A RACE BETWEEN SOFTWARE ENGINEERS STRIVING TO BUILD BIGGER AND BETTER IDIOT-PROOF PROGRAMS AND THE UNIVERSE TRYING TO PRODUCE BIGGER AND BETTER IDIOTS. SO FAR THE UNIVERSE IS WINNING.--RICH COOK

**29**
SCI QNTIKSTJTN KRFI JAG RK RKTFRX SCRS ZAIQK'S ITSCIG GWK JGAF AG JTPCS TSQ IKIFTIQ TQ XWKNC. --FTNCRIX JGTIZFRK
THE SCIENTIFIC NAME FOR AN ANIMAL THAT DOESN'T EITHER RUN FROM OR FIGHT ITS ENEMIES IS LUNCH. --MICHAEL FRIEDMAN

**30**
JG IM JMZJIM ILT NAJMTHT GYYZ STENATZ ILYS AJH GIRJFK SJFFIE, NYXFZ KYX NIFF JL FY RTJM YM LAT LYLTR SYFT?
IF AN INDIAN ATE CHINESE FOOD PERCHED ATOP HIS FAMILY PILLAR, COULD YOU CALL IT LO MEIN ON THE TOTEM POLE?

**31**
CR P FKY NVPZZM ZCJVQ ZKGEYCEY PNKGEF HBV SBPNR, SKGZF MKG APZZ CH P FKAJQBGEF?
IF A DOG REALLY LIKES LOUNGING AROUND THE WHARF, WOULD YOU CALL IT A DOCKSHUND?

**32**
HQAAYJY SZ F RQDLCFSL QR VLQTAYWJY... FLW CXY ZCDWYLCZ FPY CXYPY CQ WPSLV! --TXQ VLQTZ 
COLLEGE IS A FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE... AND THE STUDENTS ARE THERE TO DRINK! --WHO KNOWS

**33**
KEBBU WDLFQB WSDNGXS WSQ RLEB LW WTEOQ WSQ UHQQJ NM OSQOPU.  --ZNW PZNTZ
BILLS TRAVEL THROUGH THE JAIL AT TWICE THE SPEED OF CHECKS.  --NOT KNOWN

**34**
LJSS FY F UBSSJW DGJ LCMOK OAVEJC LGZ WFW ZMA BOQLJC DGJ TGMOJ?--XBVJQ DGACEJC.
WELL IF I CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER WHY DID YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?--JAMES THURBER.

**35**
AO LEX'IM UXLAJB HABZIG OIEW Z CIZKMFAJB GCIMMC KMJREI, DM HEXFR UM CDM BEER DXWAREI WZJ.
IF YOU'RE BUYING CIGARS FROM A TRAVELING STREET VENDOR, HE COULD BE THE GOOD HUMIDOR MAN.

**36**
I MJCCTVVBB TX I HEJKG JS VFB KQGEBGIEBW, IGGJTQVBW DP VFB KQUTYYTQH VJ WJ VFB KQQBMBXXIEP. --SEBW IYYBQ
A COMMITTEE IS A GROUP OF THE UNPREPARED, APPOINTED BY THE UNWILLING TO DO THE UNNECESSARY. --FRED ALLEN

**37**
LJRP KHPWIHANA TM ANDHCNREARA, TM FMI AICCMAR EKK NJRF LRED EDR THCJNJMPWA?
WHEN LINGUISTS DO STRIPTEASES, DO YOU SUPPOSE ALL THEY WEAR ARE DIPHTHONGS?

**38**
MW UAE'QJ ESTIFJ CA WMSB UAEQ YMSOMSO DTQCSJQ, UAE'FF DQAITIFU IJ T BEJC-UAEQYJFWJQ.
IF YOU'RE UNABLE TO FIND YOUR SINGING PARTNER, YOU'LL PROBABLY BE A DUET-YOURSELFER.

**39**
QTX CHGS ZRYYXPXHNX FXQKXXH QTX ZXUCNPJQE JHZ QTX PXVDFGRNJHE RE QTJQ QTX ZXUCNPJQE JGGCK QTX VCCP QC FX NCPPDVQ QCC.--CENJP GXOJHQ
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE DEMOCRATS AND THE REPUBLICANS IS THAT THE DEMOCRATS ALLOW THE POOR TO BE CORRUPT TOO.--OSCAR LEVANT

**40**
RKGP CVYAKM EYRTAFASARK A NDI ZRYGPC SR BAOP ZRY CDQI RK KRSTAKM FVS ZRRC DKC NDSPY.  --N.G. ZAPBCI
ONCE DURING PROHIBITION I WAS FORCED TO LIVE FOR DAYS ON NOTHING BUT FOOD AND WATER.  --W.C. FIELDS

**41**
ZMF ZRC SCUZ YNIJOYJZ ZMQJXU QJ ZMF IJQTFKUF YKF MEOKCXFJ YJO UZILQOQZE. --MYKHYJ FHHQUCJ
THE TWO MOST ABUNDANT THINGS IN THE UNIVERSE ARE HYDROGEN AND STUPIDITY. --HARLAN ELLISON

**42**
KFOUO WUO KFUOO TSRIH AY LOALZO -- KFAHO JFA GWR GAERK WRI KFAHO JFA GWR'K.  --JFA TRAJH 
THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE -- THOSE WHO CAN COUNT AND THOSE WHO CAN'T.  --WHO KNOWS

**43**
GX OWQGU VFSE UGROTE UVWQSM IFSX G UODYS VD VFSR GX BQSXKF; G XSJSQ MGM UZKKSSM GX RWYGXC VFDUS GMGDVU ZXMSQUVWXM VFSGQ TWXCZWCS.--RWQY VIWGX
IN PARIS THEY SIMPLY STARED WHEN I SPOKE TO THEM IN FRENCH; I NEVER DID SUCCEED IN MAKING THOSE IDIOTS UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE.--MARK TWAIN

**44**
ATNQEGKLE NY FPGIE GUN, DGAE ZPIP ZNIETMVPL GE UNLE.  DGAE TGCP KPCPI YNIUNAAPK ATME.
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, BATS WERE WORSHIPED AS GODS.  BATS HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN THIS.

**45**
THEZJZHBZFS MBXXVD QLAFXEYF - HAV QNZJVBXA. -- EHBU FKHZA
FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT - AND CHILDREN. -- MARK TWAIN

**46**
GT WJF'VM XMUVHSGPL NSM XQW OJJQGPL TJV NSM CJL XNUV, WJF HJFOC UXQ WJFVXMOT "UVM WJF XGVGFX?"
IF YOU'RE SEARCHING THE SKY LOOKING FOR THE DOG STAR, YOU COULD ASK YOURSELF "ARE YOU SIRIUS?"

**47**
CXS UTGCHCYD DSGSKCEV YJSKSU H XHKUVRHK'W WXYJJTKN RSGGH HKU GHEESU TC XYRS USWJYC.
THE DICTATOR RECENTLY OPENED A HANDYMAN'S SHOPPING MECCA AND CALLED IT HOME DESPOT.

**48**
OXY IQOI'M IQT SDHVY EX O XGIMQTVV, OX OAAHDAHEOIT HTUTAIOUVT.--MIOX YGXX
AND THAT'S THE WORLD IN A NUTSHELL, AN APPROPRIATE RECEPTACLE.--STAN DUNN

**49**
QWH MHPRXS QWHMH PMH QYX RHSPQXMR AXM HPIW RQPQH NR RX QWPQ XSH IPS UH QWH ZHRNLSPQHZ ZMNJHM.--OPB VHSX
THE REASON THERE ARE TWO SENATORS FOR EACH STATE IS SO THAT ONE CAN BE THE DESIGNATED DRIVER.--MAY LENO

**50**
C BEK NVTEFT IKVU IKT NTYFIK NTY OEU. MIOEU CF KIM UILY OEU. MIDIYYIG CFK'M VIIACKP PIIO TCMWTY. --EKIKUDILF
I CAN PLEASE ONLY ONE PERSON PER DAY. TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY. TOMORROW ISN'T LOOKING GOOD EITHER. --ANONYMOUS

**51**
HIQ MYYU WMYSV VNLUT WHX ZFIWT QCY LYSFXH'V ZNHX BKYBIK CYTVT: "BWKWTNVIT FYTV."
NEW BOOK ABOUT TICKS AND FLEAS WHO COULDN'T FIND PROPER HOSTS: "PARASITES LOST."

**52**
OB ELI UWEM VGLTWSP ZAS KFJBSWJBK SNB QLQBGOFGM WK FTBGONBUJWIV.
WE CAN LICK GRAVITY BUT SOMETIMES THE PAPERWORK IS OVERWHELMING.

**53**
ILH XZUV CEBRG SQBKRLG AUCOLQD HZGMBRG GML ILSLDDCQO LKRZAVLIG: "CEDLISL BX VCUULGD."
NEW FILM ABOUT CROQUET PLAYERS WITHOUT THE NECESSARY EQUIPMENT: "ABSENCE OF MALLETS."

**54**
ENIEGW HVDVDYVH GCR EHV RQKLRV, MRWX NKJV VSVHGCQV VNWV. --RQJQCIQ
ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. --UNKNOWN

**55**
IZA AMYPTWZ ZLRA MB OAWQADI VBO IZATO PLMYFLYA LMJ KTPP MBI IALDZ IZATO DZTPJOAM IB WQALN TI.--YABOYA EAOMLOJ WZLK
THE ENGLISH HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEIR LANGUAGE AND WILL NOT TEACH THEIR CHILDREN TO SPEAK IT.--GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

**56**
IWFIBW JNMJ MQW QWMBBK GWQK UWTQP RMO DWJ TOJF ZWOZTJTGW IFZTJTFOZ MOP NMGW M JQWEWOPFXZ TEIMRJ FO NTZJFQK.--PMO LXMKBW
PEOPLE THAT ARE REALLY VERY WEIRD CAN GET INTO SENSITIVE POSITIONS AND HAVE A TREMENDOUS IMPACT ON HISTORY.--DAN QUAYLE

**57**
RBLHJFX HSCKRSL AL HRCH VSG CGZ GCHBJGL TSRCPS OBLSUX JGKS HRSX RCPS SERCALHSZ CUU JHRSF CUHSFGCHBPSL.--CTTC STCG
HISTORY TEACHES US THAT MEN AND NATIONS BEHAVE WISELY ONCE THEY HAVE EXHAUSTED ALL OTHER ALTERNATIVES.--ABBA EBAN

**58**
VOQ PYP M KUAQ MRWAWLF AMR ALI PYAUXSNQ WKUA M XNYGG?  OU PYPI'S FUU SOU UVU SLAI.
WHY DID A VERY AMOROUS RAM RUN DIRECTLY OVER A CLIFF?  HE DIDN'T SEE THE EWE TURN.

**59**
OZ TPZ TKXFZ, TJLXKYRZKC TKXFZ XF RDBL WDTFWZ NKTFZR, TFV TQBV TKK RDZ MXPQL XM KBMZ RDTR LYPPXYFV YL FXR XFZ ZSWZNRBFA RDZ VXA DTL QTVZ TF TKKBTFWZ OBRD YL.--QTYPBWZ QTZRZPKBFWH
WE ARE ALONE, ABSOLUTELY ALONE ON THIS CHANCE PLANET, AND AMID ALL THE FORMS OF LIFE THAT SURROUND US NOT ONE EXCEPTING THE DOG HAS MADE AN ALLIANCE WITH US.--MAURICE MAETERLINCK

**60**
KXCLH BXQ PES LJWFP HXOF GQXPBI OFMSEWFQA EM ASFYU, BEPLFYOFC GYBEP MYS.  ('SZYA CFPJFC GFFM EQ LQFYAF NYAA.)
PUDGY CUR NOT GIVEN YULE BRUNCH LEFTOVERS OF STEAK, CONGEALED BACON FAT.  ('TWAS DENIED BEEF OR GREASE MASS.)

**61**
ICDG CTN-CKN HLGDV VKLGO MDRFFJ NCKGJ RGO TGVTGQDMD, IKLFO JKL QRFF HCRH NFRVHTQ MRN?
WHEN HIP-HOP TUNES SOUND REALLY PHONY AND INSINCERE, WOULD YOU CALL THAT PLASTIC RAP?

**62**
CHZKA -- AH RJJHPMJI GJK NHCMZTMAA GA IBMV GZM, GA AIGJKRJO RJ G KRPIRHJGZV, BHC NHIMJI EHZ OHHK GJK MWRT IBMV QMPHYM RJ IBM BGJKA HE HJM CBH SJHCA BHC IH PHYQRJM IBMY. JGIBGJRMT BGCIBHZJM
WORDS -- SO INNOCENT AND POWERLESS AS THEY ARE, AS STANDING IN A DICTIONARY, HOW POTENT FOR GOOD AND EVIL THEY BECOME IN THE HANDS OF ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO COMBINE THEM. NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE

**63**
JTWNOIUNZC: OVD VITUONUP LDIW OVIO ZSCDSUD ZSCDBVDWD CIG YD VIJJG.--V. R. CDUAQDU
PURITANISM: THE HAUNTING DEAR THAT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY.--H. X. MENCKEN

**64**
KLOV SLO PNGF KTFL SN UHVTFL HF, SLOC XVFKOD NHD UDXCODF. --NFBXD KTEGO
WHEN THE GODS WISH TO PUNISH US, THEY ANSWER OUR PRAYERS. --OSCAR WILDE

**65**
M ESDEGH DEZYNI YA JN E XQAOQEHYMZEYAQ, ZNTNQ VAY EQACZI YA MY. --EZAZGRACH
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A PROCRASTINATOR, NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT. --ANONYMOUS

**66**
IWU IMNJLDU QTIW QUZIWUM RNMUXZYITPB TY IWZI TI'Y MTBWI INN NRIUP RNM JY IN TBPNMU TI ZPA QMNPB INN NRIUP RNM JY IN MUDF NP TI.--OZIMTXC FNJPB
THE TROUBLE WITH WEATHER FORECASTING IS THAT IT'S RIGHT TOO OFTEN FOR US TO IGNORE IT AND WRONG TOO OFTEN FOR US TO RELY ON IT.--PATRICK YOUNG

**67**
DXF CAMB DXRAK DXSD VSGFV EV THCJ DXF NEHFSEPHSPB RV RAFTTRPRFAPB. SA FTTRPRFAD NEHFSEPHSPB RV DXF KHFSDFVD DXHFSD DC MRNFHDB.--FEKFAF JPPSHDXB
THE ONLY THING THAT SAKES US FROM THE BUREAUCRACY IS INEFFICIENCY. AN EFFICIENT BUREAUCRACY IS THE GREATEST THREAT TO LIBERTY.--EUGENE MCCARTHY

**68**
XGCUL ILA QIRY XNEE AG IY RZUH JEUIYU ILA CUL ILA AGKY YZGBEA MUEIW ILA KUR BYUA RG RZU NAUI. --MGDUMR I. ZUNLEUNL
WOMEN AND CATS WILL DO AS THEY PLEASE AND MEN AND DOGS SHOULD RELAX AND GET USED TO THE IDEA. --ROBERT A. HEINLEIN

**69**
BOU HX YEIQ RVV XMUHVEX O YORRMU RV LM MTRUEXRMP RV RQM YHWHROUZ.--DMVUDMX IWMYMTIMOE
WAR IS MUCH TOO SERIOUS A MATTER TO BE ENTRUSTED TO THE MILITARY.--GEORGES CLEMENCEAU

**70**
VO EIKQZGXZT VN'P TQBG UQNI NDXN ZQBONP; VO JIBEXYVPK VN'P TQBG ZQBON NDXN UQNIP. --KQRIOP HXYYAIGR
IN DEMOCRACY IT'S YOUR VOTE THAT COUNTS; IN FEUDALISM IT'S YOUR COUNT THAT VOTES. --MOGENS JALLBERG

**71**
FV XSC STJX RDD SV AUJ NCDJH, XSC ZFHH RDD SV AUJ VCQ. YRAUJNFQJ UJITCNQ
IF YOU OBEY ALL OF THE RULES, YOU MISS ALL OF THE FUN. CATHERINE HEPBURN

**72**
LY KEZ YZN ROQYLWE-OJJHCLYB MVYKZWK, KEZ WHVN-FVRLYB, HVWLYB KZOF QZOHHC KVVD O WEZHHOMDLYB.
IN THE NEW VARNISH-APPLYING CONTEST, THE SLOW-MOVING, LOSING TEAM REALLY TOOK A SHELLACKING.

**73**
SZVDSW KZF WJZY, LPH RSZWSDW OJA'H VSH WPNGSO EAHJ MSH SAVEASW.
EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DON'T GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.

**74**
ENJMI H SNZ PJIOW WOA XJPUW WJQA IAWU WOA SNZ ENMA. ENJMI WOA SNZ GPNMI XNYPWAAM WJQAU IJKAU RNY SNZ UAFYPJWR.
DOING A JOB RIGHT THE FIRST TIME GETS THE JOB DONE. DOING THE JOB WRONG FOURTEEN TIMES GIVES YOU JOB SECURITY.

**75**
MB HAPOCHXMHZ EHCPAYMHXP RCHZS PWBO RCMZSP, OTVK PTWAXR EWPO XMSVXK YCVBVC IWIH-SWHXH.
IF AUSTRALIAN MARSUPIALS DRANK SOFT DRINKS, THEY SHOULD MOST LIKELY PREFER COCA-KOALA.

**76**
UYZUYUNO QRNUOYSO ETUYIW UGGOPURNO TOWLMNW. --VRAYO PAOT
INFINITE PATIENCE BRINGS IMMEDIATE RESULTS. --WAYNE DYER

**77**
KG N SWYLHQ WG SWWKVR IKZJU EKQJ OWY YL NVJ JZNRRQJ OWY WGG, OWY DWYHJ IQ LKRQWV-EWDQJ.
IF A COUPLE OF COOING BIRDS TIED YOU UP AND DRAGGED YOU OFF, YOU WOULD BE PIGEON-TOWED.

**78**
KW BYLMY PB IMMR O PYDM RMYURMSPKEM BH BWM'U KFRBYPOWSM, MEMYTBWM UQBDVL QOEM O LBJ PQOP ZKVV ZBYUQKR QKF OWL O SOP PQOP ZKVV KJWBYM QKF. --AYDSM LMYMIM
IN ORDER TO KEEP A TRUE PERSPECTIVE OF ONE'S IMPORTANCE, EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A DOG THAT WILL WORSHIP HIM AND A CAT THAT WILL IGNORE HIM. --BRUCE DEREKE

**79**
UM CA OCVUAR KORUJOA UT JCEO OTNOXUCBBQ MFK CEFBOTXOAVT, U'E XCBB UV C NKF-VOOA EUOV.
IF AN EATING REGIMEN IS MADE ESPECIALLY FOR ADOLESCENTS, I'D CALL IT A PRO-TEEN DIET.

**80**
SCZVZSFLV YU XGYPD KCZF'U VYDCF KCLP PGEGXI'U AGGHYPD. --B.S. KZFFU
CHARACTER IS DOING WHAT'S RIGHT WHEN NOBODY'S LOOKING. --X.C. WATTS

**81**
BAVVFLETV UAWTL'Y OAPR QWBXFTW GWAGJW JERW YA AOL TYFSS.--SPXLR HXGGX
COMMUNISM DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO OWN STUFF.--FRANK ZAPPA

**82**
UR GCKKUCHV JVKV BEMSCJVO, BASI BEMSCJW JBESO YCTV UA-SCJW. CABAIGBEW
IF MARRIAGE WERE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WOULD HAVE IN-LAWS. ANONYMOUS

**83**
KXIJ JSMY PW UPEY JRY CQNIY. PJ RSW S UPBRJ WPKY, S KSNE WPKY, SGK PJ RQUKW JRY XGPAYNWY JQBYJRYN....
DUCT TAPE IS LIKE THE FORCE. IT HAS A LIGHT SIDE, A DARK SIDE, AND IT HOLDS THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER....

**84**
SVUMRMLMSK MIUAKKMJAILA MF IT WSULX RTV ISUHVSK FUHDMZMUP.
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

**85**
NXCUNFAVT WYUJK SBTA NY IZKYK'H XK ON WYUJK.--M. MNYHNO VUHHT
OBVIOUSLY CRIME PAYS OR THERE'D BE NO CRIME.--F. WORDON LIDDY

**86**
RGQHGD YAH EL NRIRSKD HM WDOOEGW OADULDKFDL URBD ICDLEBDGO LAHVKB HG GH RNNHVGO SD RKKHYDB OH BH OAD THS.--BHVWKRL RBRUL
ANYONE WHO IS CAPABLE OF GETTING THEMSELVES MADE PRESIDENT SHOULD ON NO ACCOUNT BE ALLOWED TO DO THE JOB.--DOUGLAS ADAMS

**87**
ZCRDV TFJ OMYY IFKXG YCNH "VKMQGRKHGGCFQ," "ICONHXQHGG" MQX "JQRFXYCQHGG" GCQ-FQTZG?
MIGHT YOU CALL WORDS LIKE "TRANSGRESSION," "WICKEDNESS" AND "UNGODLINESS" SIN-ONYMS?

**88**
LTD AO NDQS UKOZ WTCB TS LTD TCWT VSCOW WD FD?--RDTB GVCQJS
WHO IS MORE BUSY THAN HE WHO HATH LEAST TO DO?--JOHN CLARGE

**89**
PJBBH BTCQ DCLMB YQKH KZMJS DMLT KQKDWKBD VNM VTKI BM DNMTD: "ZKITPMMS CB SNT YKIWK."
FUNNY NEIL SIMON PLAY ABOUT SOME ALASKANS WHO WEAR NO SHOES: "BAREFOOT IN THE PARKA."

**90**
YFYHM LTM S BYU XW TOL IEEC UNHEXBN UNY QEHDYA ISAU EQ UNY HSRNYAU WYEWIY SO TJYHSRT.  SQ S'J OEU UNYHY, S BE UE VEHC. --HEDYHU EHDYO
EVERY DAY I GET UP AND LOOK THROUGH THE FORBES LIST OF THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA.  IF I'M NOT THERE, I GO TO WORK. --ROBERT ORBEN

**91**
EHFB HOR EQYR BHZBHTRB. QV'B DRVVRO IKV VK BRR VURL DRQIT LHAR.--KVVK XKI DQBLHONY
LAPS ARE LIKE SAUSAGES. IT'S BETTER NOT TO SEE THEM BEING MADE.--OTTO WON BISMARCK

**92**
R'O P XQZB VTIITRLLBZQ TH LBPHTTJ.  R LZWWTLB XNPX LTOB VTZMJ VPMM OB PI PHRLNRTIPJT.
I'M A TRUE CONNOISSEUR OF SEAFOOD.  I SUPPOSE THAT SOME COULD CALL ME AN AFISHIONADO.

**93**
VD UNZ GPVQS QNRNWU TCXMK CRNZG UNZ, GXU AVKKVQJ C TNZFEM ND FCUAMQGK.
IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.

**94**
OFLU IEODZ XJVZKL IDGJ DZ DAOFLU VZMVZVUJ RDTDRVUH MFQ UDYVZK UIVZKL MFQ KQDZUJB.--DABFEL IEPAJH
MOST HUMAN BEINGS HAVE AN ALMOST INFINITE CAPACITY FOR TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED.--ALDOUS HUXLEY

**95**
FYM GDFHZJGXHFC NQQI H TYMTIMU QLF PGO XMJC GNOQJNHDZ.  H OHKVRC TQLRUD'F VLF HF UQPD.
THE ANTIGRAVITY BOOK I CHECKED OUT WAS VERY ABSORBING.  I SIMPLY COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN.

**96**
YXLAMNAB KPBU FPM RLDB YBXZBAM. PFHV YBXZBAM YXLAMNAB RLDBU YBXZBAM. --SNFAB HPRILXKN
PRACTICE DOES NOT MAKE PERFECT. ONLY PERFECT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. --VINCE LOMBARDI

**97**
JAY RNB'S XNOW WOWPJSXVBU. DXWPW DAYZL JAY EYS VS?--KSWOWB DPVUXS
YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING. WHERE WOULD YOU BUT IT?--STEVEN WRIGHT

**98**
KEKSADP RQLXEC DTESL D MZDALIB DPDT DFG IQR MQHZ DFG XIQAGPZF: "EQA QF LIZ HDCQAB."
POPULAR SITCOM ABOUT A WEALTHY ARAB AND HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN: "OIL IN THE FAMILY."

**99**
DEMZ SWIMVFZTXH TV JEHN UEER WIR EZTUTIWK JMH HNL XWZH HNWH TV UEER TV IEH EZTUTIWK WIR HNL XWZH HNWH TV EZTUTIWK TV IEH UEER.--VWSMLK AENIVEI
YOUR MANUSCRIPT IS BOTH GOOD AND ORIGINAL BUT THE PART THAT IS GOOD IS NOT ORIGINAL AND THE PART THAT IS ORIGINAL IS NOT GOOD.--SAMUEL JOHNSON

**100**
YEFYXP SW FYGX UM YRX AWEHMOE CJWT JAYJ FWCNAP EWPP JAYR CJP UHWGYJCRN TYROYE.--JWGGX HGYJBAWJJ
ALWAYS BE WARY OF ANY HELPFUL ITEM THAT WEIGHS LESS THAN ITS OPERATING MANUAL.--TERRY PRATCHETT

**101**
YX GYOE BKVPFK'W JBKKYCKW SBIR SCCOWPYOR, JCFHI VPRM IC YV YO VPR WVYHH CX VPR GOYEPV?
IF KING ARTHUR'S WARRIORS MADE MOONSHINE, WOULD THEY DO IT IN THE STILL OF THE KNIGHT?

**102**
QRZSUZDUIG IZNOI EUGO.
PLAGIARISM SAKES TIME.

**103**
D QDBI HT D VCDEZ AUDA MHCC CZBJ PWX YWBZP HN PWX EDB VLWRZ AUDA PWX JWB'A BZZJ HA. --QWQ UWVZ
A BANK IS A PLACE THAT WILL LEND YOU MONEY IF YOU CAN PROVE THAT YOU DON'T NEED IT. --BOB HOPE

**104**
VO V PGYRSDW HYROYTTDQW, PGDA FDMFTD PMQS MJDQOYXD, OGDW GVJD OM FVW OYXD VAH V NYNOG.
AT A WHISKEY DISTILLERY, WHEN PEOPLE WORK OVERTIME, THEY HAVE TO PAY TIME AND A FIFTH.

**105**
V WUOT PJDT FJ KTIVTOT FWUF FWT HWJIT HJZIC VQ UB TBVRDU, U WUZDITQQ TBVRDU FWUF VQ DUCT FTZZVKIT KE JNZ JHB DUC UFFTDYF FJ VBFTZYZTF VF UQ FWJNRW VF WUC UB NBCTZIEVBR FZNFW.--NDKTZFJ TPJ
I HAVE COME TO BELIEVE THAT THE WHOLE WORLD IS AN ENIGMA, A HARMLESS ENIGMA THAT IS MADE TERRIBLE BY OUR OWN MAD ATTEMPT TO INTERPRET IT AS THOUGH IT HAD AN UNDERLYING TRUTH.--UMBERTO ECO

**106**
KS ULQ JQNO BMFQZ DKOX B SLLG, JBEZ NQMZ OXZU BMZP'O CLKPF OXZ NBJZ.--  WBQGKPZ NOMBDP
IF YOU MUST ARGUE WITH A FOOL, MAKE SURE THEY AREN'T DOING THE SAME.--  PAULINE STRAWN

**107**
THPS HC RDMB DMLLSAC BZ UZY RDHTS UZY'XS KYCU GMOHAI ZBDSX LTMAC.--NZDA TSAAZA
LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU'RE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS.--JOHN LENNON

**108**
SW Y WHUSVH GYQ Y BRCPZ WCP HYLG CW SRB USDHB, LCXUQ ZCX GYDH Y LYR C' VSVH RYUHB?
IF A FELINE HAD A STORY FOR EACH OF ITS LIVES, COULD YOU HAVE A CAT O' NINE TALES?

**109**
BGF SYKB FDDFOBUQF TEL BY IFSFSZFI LYJI TUDF'K ZUIBGMEL UK BY DYICFB UB YXOF.
THE MOST EFFECTIVE LAY TO REMEMBER YOUR LIFE'S BIRTHDAY IS TO FORGET IT ONCE.

**110**
VCDXLBC G FXAC JU QICXQ UT KIXGJ-HLJDFGJK VCCSRCB, EUL HGKFS PCRR BXE G TCXI JU PCCAGR.
BECAUSE I HAVE NO DREAD OF GRAIN-MUNCHING BEETLES, YOU MIGHT WELL SAY I FEAR NO WEEVIL.

**111**
JVM NPBLZMR CPHZY'L FZL RZMHZG UZMWPY RPVRPUZ.  FJV XJVEG RPF LCZ NVMRL BR FZL LJ XJWZ.
OUR BAITERS HAVEN'T YET SERVED GERMAN SAUSAGE.  YOU COULD SAY THE BURST IS YET TO COME.

**112**
VRGZQR DZL SR BQR BOO RHKBOOW SATR - BEL RHKBOOW GZZOATM.--BOVRQI RAETIRAE
BEFORE GOD ME ARE ALL EQUALLY MISE - AND EQUALLY FOOLISH.--ALBERT EINSTEIN

**113**
LSTVKVSUVRA DUOOPX QFHROTER - SHP QZVKPUOH.  TSUM RISVH
FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT - AND CHILDREN.  MARK TWAIN

**114**
NS T ATQNDJ GS TRTCUT ETW CXBJF-CETFB DNCNGA, N QENAU N'W ITRR EJF TA GBQNITR TRJXQNTA.
IF A NATIVE OF ALASKA HAD SUPER-SHARP VISION, I THINK I'D CALL HER AN OPTICAL ALEUTIAN.

**115**
OAGC CPTF YJ QYZF CLF HSNGF. YC LPJ P QYMLC JYOF P OPNZ JYOF PVO YC LSQOJ CLF AVYDFNJF CSMFCLFN....--GPNQ BXPVBYM
DUCT TAPE IS LIKE THE FORCE. IT HAS A LIGHT SIDE A DARK SIDE AND IT HOLDS THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER....--CARL YMANYIG

**116**
FNW FRSNFYBUW JZACWY UWYKBYGWH JRFN ZIFYWLL KOTRIWAAB TWZY NRG.  NW JZL ZKYZRH FB JBYC JRFNBOF ZTTWFFW.
THE TIGHTROPE WALKER PERFORMED WITH ACTRESS FUNICELLO NEAR HIM.  HE WAS AFRAID TO WORK WITHOUT ANNETTE.

**117**
XB WE PBTXWV NYL 1040 PN IYEI 'TUVTR NUPI QXL PM EXZ YOV QAPBJ.' P SYBNVJ NX CZN Y TUVTR WYOR YQXZN NUOVV PBTUVI YSYE.
ON MY INCOME TAX 1040 IT SAYS 'CHECK THIS BOX IF YOU ARE BLIND.' I WANTED TO PUT A CHECK MARK ABOUT THREE INCHES AWAY.

**118**
Z WXCRR Q WHCQO QAC ODQO WUCR QHUXLV RYUMVZLW QLV MCYOXHZLW ACUAMC ZR Q DQHQLWXC-XOQLW.
I GUESS A GREAT APE THAT GOES AROUND SCOLDING AND LECTURING PEOPLE IS A HARANGUE-UTANG.

**119**
OS ZBB YR ILRJFXHOYSXEG, OS JSBWYPZ HS-IZDZXIZXO.--QZBOSX EPZBBZ
TO ERR IS DYSFUNCTIONAL, TO FORGIVE CO-DEPENDENT.--MERTON AVERRE

**120**
COV VNQGVGC WSRR KQAVK LXY JMKTVA CM LQCOAKXL JKMN COV KMAVM ASV CM WKMGT-QCQY.
THE EMINENT PULL RIDER WAS FORGED TO WITHDRAW FROM THE RODEO DUE TO PRONG-ITIS.

**121**
BQL QB EPP TEG YQLGT QB FQCIJH QL UHC, FMH TEGGHTF ELH FMHTH, "DF VDIMF MEZH AHHC!" --SQMC ILHHCPHEB YMDFFDHL
FOR OF ALL SAD WORDS OF TONGUE OR PEN, THE SADDEST ARE THESE, "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN!" --JOHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER

**122**
RH IMD CML AZMN JCZ EVVQ "JCZ CVEEOJ" LV RMGH JORZL JCMJ CZ LJMAJZN JVDQOZG OG COL LDZZI.
MY PAL HAS READ THE BOOK "THE HOBBIT" SO MANY TIMES THAT HE STARTED TOLKIEN IN HIS SLEEP.

**123**
SIDPLTLMK OSDBLSDBKA LCSL XTOKB CSYK GKXKI LKKLC LCSB OKB; SMLCTEJC CK XSP LXDNK OSIIDKA DL BKYKI TNNEIIKA LT CDO LT YKIDGW LCDP PLSLKOKBL HW KRSODBDBJ CDP XDYKP' OTELCP. --HKILISBA IEPPKMM
ARISTOTLE MAINTAINED THAT WOMEN HAVE FEWER TEETH THAN MEN; ALTHOUGH HE WAS TWICE MARRIED IT NEVER OCCURRED TO HIM TO VERIFY THIS STATEMENT BY EXAMINING HIS WIVES' MOUTHS. --BERTRAND RUSSELL

**124**
IQLEXRM NQKL MVMFXMP UKY VMRML IQLEMY YDMXL VOFMP.--SQDV I. GMVVMHN
FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES BUT NEVER FORGET THEIR NAMES.--JOHN F. KENNEDY

**125**
OE PHW'TB FHN LITN HE NGB XHDWNOHF PHW'TB LITN HE NGB LTBQOLONINB. --GBFTP V. NODDAIF
IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION YOU'RE PART OF THE PRECIPITATE. --HENRY X. TILLMAN

**126**
TX VUWKUV UH P GKHL PW 40 KY WFPW P TPV YFUIDZ SL PSDL WU AFPVNL FLJ, DKML P SPVM VUWL, HUJ WGU 20Y. --GPJJLV SLPWWX
MY NOTION OF A WIFE AT 40 IS THAT A MAN SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHANGE HER, LIKE A BANK NOTE, FOR TWO 20S. --WARREN BEATTY

**127**
QUT TUE'S NCWP NMZSCWPZ. SRCS'Z RUG RP QUS SU OP QUT.--CVXRMP OKEWPV 
GOD DON'T MAKE MISTAKES. THAT'S HOW HE GOT TO BE GOD.--ARCHIE BUNKER

**128**
ZRKDL AQFKST RKE OEOQD JXLQP, HRL JQFLX XQS KSHN HXNOJDL HNPQB.  ENALHRKST ZLSH Q-XBL.
WHILE MAKING HIS USUAL BREAD, THE BAKER RAN INTO TROUBLE TODAY.  SOMETHING WENT A-RYE.

**129**
FDD EKT EKMPIL M YTFDDZ DMQT ER SR FYT TMEKTY MDDTIFD, MAARYFD, RY JFEETPMPI.  --FDTHFPSTY VRRDDOREE
ALL THE THINGS I REALLY LIKE TO DO ARE EITHER ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, OR BATTENING.  --ALEXANDER FOOLLPOTT

**130**
IVM E PYEZ YN MUYGV GTEOVG XT MUV ZXGMETAV LEOXTI LXGAUXVN, YU RVPP, HYEG RXPP HV HYEG!
GET A LOAD OF THOSE SNAKES IN THE DISTANCE MAKING MISCHIEF, OH WELL, BOAS WILL BE BOAS!

**131**
TW RNAK UHKOSN OHTSVKQR EQK LEQKWQKK, VN PNH ZMTDG PNH ATIMZ LESS ZMKA MNUT-IN-SHLGP?
IF SOME PUEBLO BUILDERS ARE CAREFREE, DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT CALL THEM HOPI-GO-LUCKY?

**132**
RT PN BCYP YGUNC ONRC EO ONRC, XO JKTERZU RGPROT XYKCZT: SJN GNTT RZU GNTT PN LNNG YKC YRST, SJN XYCN PN LNNG YKC AYCZT.
AS WE GROW OLDER YEAR BY YEAR, MY HUSBAND ALWAYS MOURNS: THE LESS AND LESS WE FEEL OUR OATS, THE MORE WE FEEL OUR CORNS.

**133**
JPVHDWJ'K EIV EO XLV ODIVKX WEYIXHDVK JICEIV VRVH KXESV. --QEQWJX UESBXLZJDXV
AMERICA'S ONE OF THE FINEST COUNTRIES ANYONE EVER STOLE. --BOBCAT DOLGTHWAITE

**134**
EOGL IHI LOK JZEPHCR THC TQZDPGHB LZ LOK GTTQZGDOHCR JZEPHCR JGPP?  "TPKGWK, WTGQK BK!"
WHAT DID THE FOWLING PIN PROCLAIM TO THE APPROACHING FOWLING FALL?  "PLEASE, SPARE ME!"

**135**
YEG JZIGY XUMIZAD ZA OPQU YOJGY YU NPSE QEOQ YEG XOAQY QU SEOADG EGM AONG QU JZYO SOMM.
SHE LIKES WORKING IN AUTO SALES SO MUCH THAT SHE WANTS TO CHANGE HER NAME TO LISA CARR.

**136**
RE V YRYJRZVJ FKTFPQU TKSQKQS ITNQ JVNRBVUQS FJVIURZ, RI UPVU ETKNRZV ETK NRZVP?
IF A BIBLICAL PROPHET ORDERED SOME LAMINATED PLASTIC, IS THAT FORMICA FOR MICAH?

**137**
HKI HNDPAEI TXHK MDOOXJO XQ HKLH HKI XUI GLEEQ DPH DG CDPN OELQQ.
THE TROUBLE WITH DOGGING IS THAT THE ICE FALLS OUT OF YOUR GLASS.

**138**
WES FKGH, ZRS TEEP FKGH, KC SE ZH OYKHGFD LIFRHP. --CEOVISHC
NOT LIFE, BUT GOOD LIFE, IS TO BE CHIEFLY VALUED. --SOCRATES

**139**
X KMUQ RMYQF DCPQ CSR CW MAECKCA RKMF MAECKCA KMG RMYQF CSR CW DQ.  --ZXFGRCF EKSPEKXAA
I HAVE TAKEN MORE OUT OF ALCOHOL THAN ALCOHOL HAS TAKEN OUT OF ME.  --WINSTON CHURCHILL

**140**
XT PEZ GSBMDO RPOXIDOR COD OSBBXBM C TZZPOCLD, X ODLIZB PGD TCRPDO TCRPDO EXWW EXB.
IF TWO HUNGER STRIKERS ARE RUNNING A FOOTRACE, I RECKON THE FASTER FASTER WILL WIN.

**141**
ZEYFI JMPCAEFSGY CGWVMFS AOSMZMOF TMKP, "VMZT O ZEK, OFI ZEK."
CORNY FISHMONGER HELPING MAGICIAN KITS, "PICK A COT, ANY COT."

**142**
GSFUSO VBU DUOR YU G ERFKBTGYWTRY UNDBY YU BGJO BTR BOGZ OLGATSOZ. --RGANOC DUCZVFS
ANYONE WHO GOES TO A PSYCHIATRIST OUGHT TO HAVE HIS HEAD EXAMINED. --SAMUEL GOLDWYN

**143**
DKTXUK G CKI CR FLJDBEP G'P EKWKU TBHHKE GE HXWK IFXLOF G'P JIKQQKP GE GI B TKY IGCKJ. --UGIB ULPEKU
BEFORE I MET MY HUSBAND I'D NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE THOUGH I'D STEPPED IN IT A FEW TIMES. --RITA RUDNER

**144**
FYR VHYTDTQF UYRQXI'P UYHHF DTYRP UEDP VBYVQB PEGIW YN FYR GN FYR SYRQX WIYU EYU MBQXYC PEBF XY. --YQGI CGQQBH
YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU IF YOU COULD KNOW HOW SELDOM THEY DO. --OLIN MILLER

**145**
JSWWHSRPURC KHSWJBZT DUYX PDIWTJ PHBJ RHY EIFB KHS I CUIRY.--KUPPUJX AWHMBWG
SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH DWARFS DOES NOT MAKE YOU A GIANT.--YIDDISH PROVERB

**146**
YOQDFUH AEB XKAD EFU NK IJR DFDAQDH EXXJAJMERD. --RLKAEH WKFDH
FRIENDS MAY COME AND GO BUT ENEMIES ACCUMULATE. --THOMAS JONES

**147**
PN HEWN AESNETN GNFDQAN. PN HZYN AESNETN DHVJEQOJ. --JNTIZ MN SETVJNIHDTV
WE LOVE SOMEONE BECAUSE. WE LIKE SOMEONE ALTHOUGH. --HENRI YE MONTHERLANT

**148**
JHOOMJKEB BXFEZJU YCUUME VCYC CEBZBCS UM JKEBCY YZVTJ, OCMOTC VMHTS JZX "FZYX TMH UM FZYYX TMH."
SUPPOSING GYMNAST RETTON WERE ENGAGED TO SINGER RAWLS, PEOPLE WOULD SAY "MARY LOU TO MARRY LOU."

**149**
QKX UHJRL HREQGOZQLG, JCILRHEKHRB JR XGGJRQ UOUHV, QLVC KHI QL "BXQ AJZK QL AJEHZE!"
THE PIANO INSTRUCTOR, ADMONISHING AN ERRANT PUPIL, TOLD HIM TO "GET BACH TO BASICS!"

**150**
ICIJXTL XR BCH'R SJG CO RJGXTB PYJP GCE'NL ZJQXTB PCC ZEIY ZCTLG. --NCMXT SXDDXJZR
COCAINE IS GOD'S WAY OF SAYING THAT YOU'RE MAKING TOO MUCH MONEY. --ROBIN WILLIAMS

**151**
SEVZ SRV IWAABCJP PN QRVANX EP BNPANF JPEVA: "KELR KR NVR OCPB RQRXZPBCVF."
MANY MEN BUDDHIST TO VENDOR AT HOTDOG STAND: "WAKE WE ONE LITH EVERYTHING."

**152**
JW RYPLUVJ UHVQ HS YVMPSMHUHSO JW OYPQQ CFLHDQ XHDC JW SVD HSMPJV. --VYYPU ZUWSS
MY PROBLEM LIES IN RECONCILING MY GROSS HABITS WITH MY NET INCOME. --ERROL FLYNN

**153**
ZV GQD GLFJV BCV DGNI BF CQB BCV DGNI. --NGAXC ZGAWF VDVNRFS
WE AIM ABOVE THE MARY TO HIT THE MARY. --RALPH WALDO EMERSON

**154**
SI WVMF VE K NWSGVSOE TATWF SM ESLN, K HFCWFA SM FBDFHRSGKLFK; KLC WSPF VE K DIVLN DIKD TKL LFPFG NS XGSLN; KLC V KH HKGVF SM GSOHKLVK. --CSGSDIA RKGUFG
OH LIFE IS A GLORIOUS CYCLE OF SONG, A MEDLEY OF EXTEMPORANEA; AND LOVE IS A THING THAT CAN NEVER GO WRONG; AND I AM MARIE OF ROUMANIA. --DOROTHY PARKER

**155**
SAVL MEALJ EATL PY PZZHR. MZWAS MEALJ EATL P FPYPYP.
TIME FLIED LIKE AN ARROW. FRUIT FLIED LIKE A BANANA.

**156**
TR Q HQD TP KQIZTDJ TD KWG RYXGPK QDF KWGXG TP DY EYHQD KWGXG KY WGQX WTH, TP WG PKTII EXYDJ? --MGDDN EGSGX
IF A MAN IS TALKING IN THE FOREST AND THERE IS NO WOMAN THERE TO HEAR HIM, IS HE STILL WRONG? --PENNY WEBER

**157**
OKMMUKIQ UR YLQ KNNUKEPQ XJ YAX BQXBNQ, XEQ XJ ALXO EQSQM MQOQOZQMR ZUMYLCKVR KEC YLQ XYLQM EQSQM JXMIQYR YLQO. --XICQE EKRL
MARRIAGE IS THE ALLIANCE OF TWO PEOPLE, ONE OF WHOM NEVER REMEMBERS BIRTHDAYS AND THE OTHER NEVER FORGETS THEM. --OGDEN NASH

**158**
CRLNP OPK DOSH CTBB KR OH SXNI YBNOHN. LNP OPK KRFH JNSSNE FNS VHNK SR TS. --ERJNES XNTPBNTP
WOMEN AND CATS WILL DO AS THEY PLEASE. MEN AND DOGS BETTER GET USED TO IT. --ROBERT HEINLEIN

**159**
PZPLBEAP NQ JAPGUPU EMH EK HCP QGVP UEMYC WMH AEH WGJPU NA HCP QGVP EZPA. --BNUUNQC TLEZPLW
EVERYONE IS KNEADED OUT OF THE SAME DOUGH BUT NOT BAKED IN THE SAME OVEN. --YIDDISH PROVERB

**160**
CT S UPFSO ZSE LP RZPPEH DHLUHHO RSLRZCOB S TMG DSMM SON ESYCOB SO COTSOL'E MCTH, EZH UCMM RZPPEH LP ESYH LZH COTSOL'E MCTH UCLZPXL HYHO RPOECNHVCOB CT LZHVH CE S FSO PO DSEH. -- NSYH DSVVG
IF A WOMAN HAS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN CATCHING A FLY BALL AND SAVING AN INFANT'S LIFE, SHE WILL CHOOSE TO SAVE THE INFANT'S LIFE WITHOUT EVEN CONSIDERING IF THERE IS A MAN ON BASE. -- DAVE BARRY

**161**
LYXSK YIA SDA AFARN UL SIVSD. --RECVAM ZA XAIGYFSAK
FACTS ARE THE ENEMY OF TRUTH. --MIGUEL WE CERVANTES

**162**
AOXI OK AOHI D TIDEMOXEA QIAYFP, YZAP MSI APNOJK DNI QIKKIF ER. --DEMSYN EZHZYUZ
LIFE IS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL MELODY, ONLY THE LYRICS ARE MESSED UP. --AUTHOR UNKNOWN

**163**
ER LZODRTR; ER ETZRI; ER LRCFRQ. --ITCONJZO Q. TWWLRXRJF
BE SINCERE; BE BRIEF; BE SEATED. --FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT

**164**
IDFM'Z MDG OZG YE F HYYK LOYMFMVYA VE XYO NFA'M NDFAHG VM? --KYNMYJ IDY
WHAT'S THE USE OF A GOOD QUOTATION IF YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT? --DOCTOR WHO

**165**
XBJ FTNWJ LTFIOAG VOR RLYOFZQWAH VWXBTMX O EMQQ RXOEE, ZMX JNJAXMOQQG WX HTX O HYWI.
THE MOVIE COMPANY WAS SCRAMBLING WITHOUT A FULL STAFF, BUT EVENTUALLY IT GOT A GRIP.

**166**
WXN QOP'G ZNG GKJ GXXGKZOBGJ ROQI EP GKJ GNRJ. --K.A. KOMHJVOP
DYE SUI'T LET TON TYYTOLUMTN RUSH PI TON TERN. --O.X. OUBANGUI

**167**
XH WQF HBGY VEG'W MBGGB IESF EJW WE WQF CBPPDBOZ GE EGF IBG YWED 'FS. --KETX CFOOB
IF THE FANS WON'T CANNA MODE OUT TO THE BALLPARK NO ONE MAN STOP 'ED. --YOGI BERRA

**168**
JMDC NPW REGY KPRD TMDTLK HP NPWZ KJGKK QECL, G'X KEN HMEH TPWYX QD RPCDN HP QDZC.
WHEN YOU MAIL SOME CHECKS TO YOUR SWISS BANK, I'D SAY THAT COULD BE MONEY TO BERN.

**169**
FTB SLJZFTB CPFC RZYTXR F ALC LT CYAYEURULT SLJJYKSUFAR SAYFKAB PFR F QKYFC FX-EFTCFQY.
ANY COMPANY THAT SPENDS A LOT ON TELEVISION COMMERCIALS CLEARLY HAS A GREAT AD-VANTAGE.

**170**
QV TETDW RNTDQIRV ACTDT QM RV RQD ZX QVIZDDQHQFKT QVVZITVIT SCQIC MTTNM AZ IZVITRK R PQRFZKQIRK IBVVQVH. --R. T. CZBMNRV
IN EVERY AMERICAN THERE IS AN AIR OF INCORRIGIBLE INNOCENCE WHICH SEEMS TO CONCEAL A DIABOLICAL CUNNING. --A. E. HOUSMAN

**171**
FG'C VUCX GY CGYL SUBFOM SFCGUBVC.  HACG CGYL WUTFOM FKVUC.
IT'S EASY TO STOP MAKING MISTAKES.  JUST STOP HAVING IDEAS.

**172**
H IONNRIU S QHGGQU KHG RE NOCDGOSGHRC HC EFRCG RE GTU YRFA "GRFCSAR" YROQA KU GTU DRJJS KUERFU GTU IGRFJ.
I SUPPOSE A LITTLE BIT OF PUNCTUATION IN FRONT OF THE WORD "TORNADO" WOULD BE THE COMMA BEFORE THE STORM.

**173**
KXJXA OHDECNMK.  KXJXA XIECNMK. --ZNFSXAMKX SXEWYAK
NEVER COMPLAIN.  NEVER EXPLAIN. --KATHERINE HEPBURN

**174**
JLFV QLEMIT F TEW EJUZY TE JKVL F IZFQL?  OZYLFOQ LZ EMWLV VE OMII VLZ OMW EU KV.
WHAT SHOULD A DOG OWNER DO WITH A LEASH?  PERHAPS HE OUGHT TO PULL THE PUG ON IT.

**175**
IVXG JXTCZ NDCC LCMXF WDN DOBGBDGC LJDQT VXN VLGFBIDNM, B PQXCC TVLT ILC L WRLP ODRR. 
WHEN BETSY ROSS ASKED FOR OPINIONS ABOUT HER HANDIWORK, I GUESS THAT WAS A FLAG POLL.

**176**
BD P VZPR BN RAPUNJZARBUQ RSBUQN NTIS PN QPN PUX IZPY, RSPR IZTYX VM P NSBJ ZD DTMYN.
IF A BOAT IS TRANSPORTING THINGS SUCH AS GAS AND COAL, THAT COULD BE A SHIP OF FUELS.

**177**
SQP GLD DQ EQNY UAD L ULN JFLD SQP GLD UAD LD YLNJFCPLHY.
YOU CAN NO MORE FIN A FAR THAN YOU CAN FIN AN EARTHQUAKE.

**178**
FNJBH NX FNQ XJNW O XOGRGYK BGQUQJ WGKDU CQ "O FOGHU GH O UQJJGCRQ UDGYK UN WGYB." 
WORDS OF WOE FROM A FAILING DIETER MIGHT BE "A WAIST IS A TERRIBLE THING TO MIND."

**179**
CL V SZER SVE JZ CGWV HSZ CE VRRWJGCJQ SCE IVXRF, SW HZMAG IXZDVDAF XWLWX RZ SCE "QMWEEWG ACER."
IF A HOST HAS NO IDEA WHO IS ATTENDING HIS PARTY, HE WOULD PROBABLY REFER TO HIS "GUESSED LIST."

**180**
EPS WREPGB GC EPS NHNWZ NO SNEPSB PGYSB, GB NC QGE PGYSB, OGYSDGZX SHOS GC EPS OWYS QWYS. --WHZGRO PRMHSX
THE AUTHOR OF THE ILIAD IS EITHER HOMER, OR IF NOT HOMER, SOMEBODY ELSE OF THE SAME NAME. --ALDOUS HUXLEY

**181**
ZO CGO CV AJWBRRAUAXAHK AV CV AJWBRRAUXO IVALOGRO. --GCK UGCEUIGK
WE ARE AN IMPOSSIBILITY IN AN IMPOSSIBLE UNIVERSE. --RAY BRADBURY

**182**
SBZ WBZDK KLQUML PLWXMUWBDBY KYLOIJ OJ RUVILMPJ BQ SBZY UIOVUMOPUBM. 
YOU COULD DEFINE TECHNICOLOR DREAMS AS PIGMENTS OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

**183**
HQ WZW CIJAW Z ASGYVF RI IFW ZAW WSNUQ UTZU TV GIJFWA'U HZYV TVZWR IN UZSFR IJU IC SU.
MY DAD FOUND A NICKEL SO OLD AND DIRTY THAT HE COULDN'T MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OUT OF IT.

**184**
X QXUM UO GQZ QZXJ UH KYMGQ GKY UO GQZ IMVHQ. --YRUFZM QZMEYMJ
A HAIR IN THE HEAD IS WORTH TWO IN THE CRUSH. --OLIVER HERBORD

**185**
"EYXKF QYX KSOI LI BY WIF-IV H FXJKSTHBI TYJQ YW BGSU?" BGI RYOIM HCUEIMIF, "CY, RXUB BGI WHV, LH'HL."
"WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO FED-EG A DUPLICATE COPY OF THIS?" THE JOKER ANSWERED, "NO, JUST THE FAG, MA'AM."

**186**
YI U JDPREX IPEB LDZRYXQY UAADBJAR AE APYFQ HEW, BYKLA HEW FUZZ ALUA IYXX-UKZYXK?
IF A PERSON FROM HELSINKI ATTEMPTS TO TRICK YOU, MIGHT YOU CALL THAT FINN-AGLING?

**187**
WB YMHROA KC HRO YKXOCH VFFN MH FLA DFVMD KHMDKMX AOCHMLAMXH.  RO WMNOC M EAOHHB EOXXO.
MY FATHER IS THE FINEST COOK AT OUR LOCAL ITALIAN RESTAURANT.  HE MAKES A PRETTY PENNE.

**188**
Q SEMJLQS EB Q DQP YHH MLHQTDEPTJT YH YQNJ UEB HRP BETJ EP Q WZQLLJS. --LHMJLY OLHBY
A LIBERAL IS A MAN TOO BROADMINDED TO TAKE HIS OWN SIDE IN A QUARREL. --ROBERT PROST

**189**
WX AMZ MXHGR YWQCFOUG AMZS CZRUHZOHWMR YOSNQ, W HIWRN HIOH UMZFK VG VOK UMYYO. 
IF YOU OFTEN MISPLACE YOUR PUNCTUATION MARKS, I THINK THAT COULD BE BAD COMMA.

**190**
JCOLCUZ QNC ZLXJF GEGVNBTL ZMST VUCPEGKZ CXINL LC PG MTCQT BZ VBONFJGUKBLCECISZLZ. 
DOCTORS WHO STUDY ELEPHANT SKIN PROBLEMS OUGHT TO BE KNOWN AS PACHYDERMATOLOGISTS.

**191**
D KWAS EQYO TU OPMWGADQHA SQ IOJWSDRWE AMJHCDHJYDJH IJUA. ZOQZEO MJEE TO J RKQGC OPZEQGOG.
I JUST LOVE MY EXCURSIONS TO BEAUTIFUL SCANDINAVIAN BAYS. PEOPLE CALL ME A FJORD EXPLORER.

**192**
LWY OMU'R PAR VHJ WB M IMJ RASXAV IL ZWKHUP HR. -- AGMU AKMV
YOU HAN'D TED SIC OX A MAC DELVES MY FORINT ID. -- EGAN ERAS

**193**
ZQLP YCMLV KR QL'V OECN YP LOLDNJEP, NQL QFVJEALP YNEH JLXOKLV, "FLC, K'H XECKNKGL." 
WHEN ASKED IF HE'D LOST AN ELECTRON, THE HYDROGEN ATOM REPLIED, "YES, I'M POSITIVE."

**194**
BC JBL NBZWXY VR NBC ZWSB EWK NEOXY VR NBC REDK KCYCDACY NL VC XZSXCK VR NBC TLLN.
HE WHO THINKS BY THE INCH AND TALKS BY THE YARD DESERVES TO BE KICKED BY THE FOOT.

**195**
F FLHEFKA HK FLJGTTFCXD RZEA VRFKATA WATOHZWHKO GWPAW VGZXP CA "GKA-OGK TGZJ."
I IMAGINE AN IMPOSSIBLY HUGE CHINESE RESTAURANT ORDER COULD BE "ONE-TON SOUP."

**196**
TLF NL MLOY CYLCJY NYARIY CULPUBGPLUM BIN GBJGKJBPLUM? BM FYBCLIM LA OBPT RIMPUKGPRLI.
HOW DO SOME PEOPLE DEFINE PROTRACTORS AND CALCULATORS? AS WEAPONS OF MATH INSTRUCTION.

**197**
M BDG N RMXR AZQV GNRMOB UMXGIZDH QA VL DODVMDH. LQI VMBKG HNL M'V MOGQ AQD-GQBZNUKL.
I GET A KICK FROM TAKING PICTURES OF MY ENEMIES. YOU MIGHT SAY I'M INTO FOE-TOGRAPHY.

**198**
HZ DQEDSQ WCGNCQK CE MGNWMSL XNHCHXHYQ G XMHXGTE ZEECOGSS CQGU, EBQ UHTMC WGL CMQL DGB KG OQGNW.
IF PEOPLE STARTED TO HARSHLY CRITICIZE A CHICAGO FOOTBALL TEAM, ONE MIGHT SAY THEY PAN DA BEARS.

**199**
Y ADQFQKYX QL Y VSDLNK MQWP VDSCYWNDH QKLWQKAWL MPN PYL KNW LTOOQAQSKW AYVQWYX WN ONDF Y ANDVNDYWQNK. --PNMYDC LANWW, SANKNFQLW
A CRIMINAL IS A PERSON WITH PREDATORY INSTINCTS WHO HAS NOT SUFFICIENT CAPITAL TO FORM A CORPORATION. --HOWARD SCOTT, ECONOMIST

**200**
FAQ INLUB QLDQINI AUT IQLUPBQT PB UTNYQJKQBKQ DQIDQFXUYYW, JN FAQW KUYYQT APL KNBJFUBF-FQQB.
THE ROMAN EMPEROR HAD REMAINED IN ADOLESCENCE PERPETUALLY, SO THEY CALLED HIM CONSTANT-TEEN.

**201**
VGZ SWRBZH HPDNBOF TGWCIBQO BH W IDQNZHHBQOWS LWVVZDX HWSZHIZDHQO; HGZ HZSSH T TZSSH LX VGZ HZWHGQDZ.
THE LADIES SURFING CHAMPION IS A PROFESSIONAL BATTERY SALESPERSON; SHE SELLS C CELLS BY THE SEASHORE.

**202**
SKBDVTUP ZGJY OTXI TU SVK VKBS GN SVK AGAKUS TI LBX VKTY-DGUXTSTGUTUP.
TEACHING YOUR KIDS IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT IS LAD HEIR-CONDITIONING.

**203**
FWY RVY BEZ MWHYGZA, UZ RYWAZ, GV BGKZ WS YRVFZA, VWB JZSWAZ. BEZ YRVFZA TRMMZY RVY RHH BEGVFM AGFEBZY, FWY GM SWAFWBBZV, BEZ MWHYGZA MHGFEBZY.  -- AXYORAY DGTHGVF
GOD AND THE SOLDIER, WE ADORE, IN TIME OF DANGER, NOT BEFORE. THE DANGER PASSED AND ALL THINGS RIGHTED, GOD IS FORGOTTEN, THE SOLDIER SLIGHTED.  -- RUDYARD KIPLING

**204**
REY CVQRHF CFYJYFFYX RH CZR ZMCVKX DKPPQ KMRH V JKPY PVDYPYX "XZY ZMRH HREYFQ."
THE PASTOR PREFERRED TO PUT UNPAID BILLS INTO A FILE LABELED "DUE UNTO OTHERS."

**205**
KZT VGA KFTA HZVTGUST, UBKTE BVXE NTUEH VB SVDHKUDK XHT, ETLUEJTA "F'L U BEUNTA JDVK!" 
THE OLD TIED SHOELACE, AFTER FOUR YEARS OF CONSTANT USE, REMARKED "I'M A FRAYED KNOT!"

**206**
VPRNXB VTMVZF RNF NHUZ QP NWWPXB QVZ UTGTXI PW JNBYZFF, USDZ N JNY RVP YPQ PYUI QVSYDF VZ SF YNOPUZPY HTQ VSXZF NY NXJI QP OXPCZ SQ. QZB JPXMNY
HOWARD HUGHES WAS ABLE TO AFFORD THE LUXURY OF MADNESS, LIKE A MAN WHO NOT ONLY THINKS HE IS NAPOLEON BUT HIRES AN ARMY TO PROVE IT. TED MORGAN

**207**
OAJM L MNHJQ JMWIDKA GNJH ILTPJLHJ OJMH PTMMDMW, QN XNT KTGGNKJ AJ GTH NM ADK HJMMXKNM KANJK?
WHEN A NOTED ENGLISH POET LAUREATE WENT RUNNING, DO YOU SUPPOSE HE PUT ON HIS TENNYSON SHOES?

**208**
BFXY UGDFESMDMXR BUSY QEG EJ DFX RMYJGIYXRR EJ RXV, DFXSX MR UY MOTESDUYD IXRREY DE CX IXUSYXW. WE YED FULX RXV BMDF DFX UGDFESMDMXR.--OUDD HSEXYMYH
WHEN AUTHORITIES WARN YOU OF THE SINFULNESS OF SEX, THERE IS AN IMPORTANT LESSON TO BE LEARNED. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THE AUTHORITIES.--MATT GROENING

**209**
XQQA HLYVGSQPV QLGBKPW YKVM KPVTYBV. OKLJ K. VKDLYJVQP
GOOD QUESTIONS OUTRANK EASY ANSWERS. PAUL A. SAMUELSON

**210**
FIV KM GJFLRQRKRYAW KIJU KR! --WFGURWNRGCR
HOW MY ACHIEVEMENTS MOCK ME! --SHAKESPEARE

**211**
NMPGJ XSYCLSACVR, RSM GBYAICLV RSM. NMPGJ XIRRNMCVR, CL'V DNVL LQG IYYIVCLG.--D.H.WSAKJSCLQ
UNDER CAPITALISM, MAN EXPLOITS MAN. UNDER COMMUNISM, IT'S JUST THE OPPOSITE.--J.K.GALBRAITH

**212**
MRCDA MVR TDDX PR WD DZOUH MYPV CDA HUEX UCWYPYRA. --PYCRPVG HDULG
WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE EQUAL WITH MEN LACK AMBITION. --TIMOTHY LEADY

**213**
OG BWDC EDREQHRLRN M UXD DY EDFB LR YVDHLUM CWD FHDUXEQ EVMPFB YDH EMHFQROQHB: "PLMPL GLBQ."
TV SHOW CONCERNING A DUO OF COPS IN FLORIDA WHO PRODUCE CLAMPS FOR CARPENTERS: "MIAMI VISE."

**214**
KB XZSKHC VZ LRTZ R VCPQ ACP MJMLK IRKO. --WCMZ MKXCB
IN MEXICO WE HAVE A WORK FOR SUSHI PAID. --LOSE SIMON

**215**
ZWH ZO UGMMHE XSDJSQHE TSMZHU KMNP ZWH IHAZ OHQHZSINHA - BSMP THEH DFNNHU IFZ RHT THEH REKVHM.
THE TV DINNER PACKAGER WANTED ONLY THE BEST VEGETABLES - MANY WERE CULLED BUT FEW WERE FROZEN.

**216**
JAO JME DERJ UNCZXUZJ JAHZFR HZ JAO CZHBOPRO UPO AGXPEFPOZ UZX RJCQHXHJG. --AUPVUZ OVVHREZ
THE TWO MOST ABUNDANT THINGS IN THE UNIVERSE ARE HYDROGREN AND STUPIDITY. --HARLAN ELLISON

**217**
AK'NK RKLSI GRLG L XTWWTBZ XBZDKVH LG L XTWWTBZ DKVPBLSIH OBEWI JSBIEOK GRK OBXJWKGK ABSDH BC HRLDKHJKLSK; ZBA GRLZDH GB GRK TZGKSZKG AK DZBA GRLG TH ZBG GSEK. --SBPKSG ATWKZHDV
WE'VE HEARD THAT A MILLION MONKEYS AT A MILLION KEYBOARDS COULD PRODUCE THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE; NOW THANKS TO THE INTERNET WE KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE. --ROBERT WILENSKY

**218**
GJVJVIJG SYFSJG GCSJGP MYM JOJGHRUYFS XGJM KPRKYGJ MYM IBR IKZLQKGMP KFM YF UYSU UJJDP. --XKYRU QUYRRDJPJH
REMEMBER GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID BUT BACKWARDS AND IN HIGH HEELS. --FAITH WHITTLESEY

**219**
WMDZRTJM AS BAJ DEITOIO OMRRTJL IETFO IA TEMRDJZ: IAQE DRRQEM D RTM. 
HEADLINE OF MON ARTISTS SELLING TRIPS TO IRELAND: TOUR ALLURE A LIE.

**220**
WTJ BXZO CPXXJG PX WTJ CDG BU 1812 CDM WETDPHBKMHO. --MBZBIBX MTBGW
THE ONLY WINNER IN THE WAR OF 1812 WAS TCHAIKOVSKY. --SOLOMON SHORT

**221**
ZNTQ VKHSQ K TQNPXL BW ZNQX WZNPKVH WCMXY AKQS QNYCQ FNYLT.  K HCQ N IBZZ SCBTX NVL ICBY WXCWZX LKXL.--TQXDXV AYKHSQ
LAST NIGHT I STAYED UP LATE PLAYING POKER WITH TAROT CARDS.  I GOT A FULL HOUSE AND FOUR PEOPLE DIED.--STEVEN WRIGHT

**222**
C'R MHXYHVJEHAN EVNCTB EQ LCBPVH QPE DKN FJRCFJWH YCAQEX DQVH KHARHEX. --BHQVBH GJVACT
I'M DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY KAMIKAZE PILOTS WORE HELMETS. --GEORGE CARLIN

**223**
TH T DNYM NQ MUUAU NGASJ JKM YTQP AH GCAAP OADMGAPB KNO, T UMIYAQ TJ IASCP GM N JBRM-A JBRA.
IF I MAKE AN ERROR ABOUT THE KIND OF BLOOD SOMEBODY HAS, I RECKON IT COULD BE A TYPE-O TYPO.

**224**
LNEHR EUG LNEHR KNR AEKLIX TZKKOR.  UZUR JFOO AZSR, EUG KNRU E OZK'OO. --BFANEBG EBSZIB
SHAKE AND SHAKE THE CATSUP BOTTLE.  NONE WILL COME, AND THEN A LOT'LL. --RICHARD ARMOUR

**225**
HWWBJBHAJK BF BAYHTTBRHAY TGOBAHFF. --GAVAKIVMF
EFFICIENCY IS INTELLIGENT LAZINESS. --ANONYMOUS

**226**
VLU JVECH IWM DAWD W JXQNQLWC'I OUID WIIUD QI AQI CQU WOQCQDM.
ONE COULD SAY THAT A CRIMINAL'S BEST ASSET IS HIS LIE ABILITY.

**227**
RF DJOK JY G HDRAJRIY QEQDK RO YRUH G XKWDKE RO KMCKXTRAGUKG; GUW DRZK JY G CFJUH CFGC QGU UKZKA HR BARUH; GUW J GX XGAJK RO ARXGUJG. 
OH LIFE IS A GLORIOUS CYCLE OF SONG A MEDLEY OF EXTEMPORANEA; AND LOVE IS A THING THAT CAN NEVER GO WRONG; AND I AM MARIE OF ROMANIA.

**228**
QJXZ Y TJEHR CTANJDN XTNYCXM CHDTEZ, ZXQTCYCXH JXYMLDZXT HXYM, "TIYLL IXMDOI YR LYHGX."
WHEN A SHORT PSYCHIC ESCAPED PRISON, NEWSPAPER HEADLINES READ, "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE."

**229**
ED PG PXDG GVXQO E UXBV YHPV JH X YHDYAROEHD JUXJ HDV ROVAVOO PXD EO X OUXPV JTH EO X AXT SEQP XDC JUQVV HQ PHQV EO X YHDWQVOO. --LHUD XCXPO
IN MY MANY YEARS I HAVE COME TO A CONCLUSION THAT ONE USELESS MAN IS A SHAME TWO IS A LAW FIRM AND THREE OR MORE IS A CONGRESS. --JOHN ADAMS

